When "All-You-Can-Eat" means nothing of the sort.
I live in Israel. You think that I would be used to it.
(Fair warning: I am writing this post in an extremely pissed off mood. But I am containing myself a bit. Sorry for the rant.)
I'll start at the beginning of the story, because there is not really any better place to start.
I have spent the last week working extremely long days in a nationalistic social media project located approximately an hour and a half from my house by car. It is quite intensive and exhausting.
So tonight, as I was driving a coworker back to Jerusalem at 10:30 PM, I asked her if she would want to grab a bite to eat, as we didn't really eat all day. She acquiesced, on the condition that we ate at her favorite sushi place in town, and not the place where I feel at home. I was up for some excitement, some living on the edge, trying new things. I was game.
About a minute before entering, I saw a couple of friends sitting in a bar, and we went to say hi to them. I say this, only to establish that my mood upon entering was somewhat upbeat.
We sat down, and the waitress asked us if we would like to try all you can eat special. It was for a decent price. The variety of rolls seemed reasonable. [Aside: (which is important to the story) I am allergic to gluten, soy products, and mayonnaise] The waitress explained the rules: All we could eat in 2 hours. We thought that it was a great idea. My friend started order a few rolls, when the waitress informed us of a tiny caveat (that wasn't written anywhere, and that she didn't deem important enough to mention before) that we could only order one roll at a time, and could only order another roll upon completion of the previous roll. (I should really mention again that I was starving, and that I normally eat between 4 and 5 rolls without a problem.) She additionally told us that due to the amount of people, it would take about 20 minutes to prepare each round of rolls.
At this point, I pull out my incredulousness. I explained that it didn't make much sense. I am a new customer, who dines on sushi at least twice weekly, and was not planning on being there for 2 hours (in order to get the 'full' 6 rolls). Another waitress came over to "take care" of us, basically by telling me if I didn't want what they were offering I should order something else - like a more expensive combination. I demurred, explaining that i have a very strict diet, as I am allergic, I simply like simple basic rolls.
Voices were slightly raised, angers as well, and I basically informed her that this was a stupid business practice to do to yell at customers and not be flexible. (My eating partner was texting someone on her phone at the time. God, I felt bad for her.)
So we started the wait for the promised roll, like manna from heaven. After around 20 minutes of minor chitchat, we pulled out our macbooks (mine white, her's black) and started doing work. The waitress came out and told me that the rolls were almost ready, but they have decided to give me an extra roll to start with, but that I was annoying and didn't know how to deal with people.
We waited another 10 minutes, and I did much needed maintenance on the website that I have been working on all day. I received my 2 rolls, and friend 1. She then asked for water, and after asking 2 more times, she received a glass of water. (But, of course I didn't... I can't complain, I didn't inform them that I was parched.) The second course of one roll a person took another long while, while I signed up for a Flickr API for a Wordpress site and manually changed the size of about 20 YouTube embeds.
I downed the roll like it was going out of style. So when the waitress came back to take our order for the third round, I asked her for a suggestion. I figured that showing that I care about her opinion could help heal the apparent rift that had grown between us. I told her my litany of allergies and she suggested a caterpillar roll sans teriyaki.
We waited another long while, even though the crowd had significantly thinned. By the time my comrade-in-eats received her long awaited third roll, we had waited over 2:15 (extremely productive) hours from entering. I looked at my roll, and asked if there was anything that I could have inside it, because it looked funny. The waitress went to the kitchen, asked, and returned with a negative response. I repeated the question, a bit more forcefully, because eating it could make me sick. She looked at me with an annoyed air, and went back into the kitchen and came back that the meat was soaked in teriyaki. [A big no-no.] "Do you want a different roll instead?"
By this point, I was livid, and told her no. I was annoyed and tired. She then offered that sushi to another pair of diners, and loud enough for me to hear, said mockingly "the meat was soaked in teriyaki, if it makes a difference."
They charged me for 2 all-you-can-eat dinners.
Needless to say, for the first time in my life, I did not tip the waitress.
Oh, and the sushi was crap.


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